Today I realised I would see neither the end of the orange juice in the fridge, nor the disposal of the rubbish in my bin.

Monday is looming, and I still haven't quite accepted that I am leaving here for 12 months. Probably won't until I'm on the plane. Right now I'm feeling a mixture of anticipation, excitement and a little guilt. Not nervous or scared, quite possibly because it hasn't sunk in, but the guilt is related to the stress, worry and general frustration my mum has been dealing with over the past few months with her mother. As the only child left at home, I've been trying my hardest to be supportive and make it easy for her. It's been unnecessarily busy, and my parents and I have been like ships in the night, so I haven't had much quality time with them lately. It's very hard not to resent unforeseen circumstances for this, especially when they could have been avoidable and largely the result of whim, but the time has flown for whatever reasons and there is no going back.

I still live at home, a move I strongly advocate for anyone trying to save money, and I'm pretty close to my parents - I like living with them (usually...). We don't always see each other during the day, and the news is usually on during dinner, so our longest conversations are at night with them in bed, and me leaning against the doorframe at the foot of their bed. It's not unusual for Dad to put his pillow over his head in an attempt to tell me to shut up, but Mum and I keep going until one of us can't remember the words any more. Sometimes I'll get home at 10pm intending on going straight to bed, but not get there until 12:30 because I've just been debriefing with my parents, in the kitchen or their bedroom.

I'm telling you this so you can understand my sense of guilt at leaving them. I feel a little like I'm abandoning them when things are tough. This trip has been in the planning since well before stress arose, and my parents want me to go, but it's always hard to leave the people you support when they need it the most.

This trip is going to be great. Probably a little scary at times, but I can't think of anything that might realistically happen that I can't handle, although I'm intentionally not imagining too hard. I'm pretty certain I've got God's support for it, which is a huge blessing, and I can't wait for a proper winter with snow. Finding a new church, and fitting into a new community will be exciting, as will getting to know my flatmates. My biggest concern at the moment is finances - currently I don't have quite enough money, but I have several solutions for this, so it'll all be good. Who knows how I'll go with culture shock or homesickness, but my intention is to keep off instant communication (facebook, phone, skype) as much as possible especially in the beginning, because I know from experience these don't do anything to help. Letters, emails, blogs will be my communication of choice, so please post any comments here rather than on the facebook post of my blogs (I have it set up to automatically post my blogs as notes on fb).

If you're a praying person, please pray for youth group, as I leave it and it takes a new form of leadership - there is potential for it to crash and burn, but with prayer, support and dedication by the leaders it will be fine until a new youth worker comes along. Please pray for my parents and anyone else whom I support, entertain or distract. Please pray that I'll settle quickly, happily and without too much fuss, and that I won't worry about money. Please thank God for the opportunities I'm getting - studying overseas, working at Iona (7 weeks in the shop over the summer holidays), travelling around, meeting new people, and for the work God's doing in laying the foundations - phenomenally fast acceptances, unexpected money, random (yet very handy) connections.

And that's about all. I have 5 more sleeps until takeoff, an enormous amount of clothing to cut down on, and Christmas to survive. My bedroom is a pigsty, and I know that if I leave it messy, the mess will just wait 12 months. I still have presents to buy for Christmas, and baking to do. I have no idea if I've filled out all the correct utas forms, or if I'll get snotty letters. If I were told I had to leave tomorrow, I'd probably fail completely at taking anything useful, but who cares. I'm going to England for 12 months. I'm going to study medieval history surrounded by the stuff. I'll see my new niece, travel around Europe, make new life-long friends, and have an adventure with God by my side. Who can ask for anything more?

If you're reading this on facebook, add my actual blog (http://jabberingfool.blogspot.com) to your rss feed - it will update quicker, and you'll be able to comment on my posts rather than my facebook notes (better for posterity and for my reminiscing in the future).

Quite frankly quite awesome

Check out these Star Wars Themed hoodies. Who wouldn't think you're the coolest person in the world when you're dressed as a Storm Trooper and still toasty?

Or cruising the streets dressed as an X-Wing Fighter Pilot?

Reminds me of those suits you get for little kids - the Spiderman costume,

or the monster suit

But really, they're just for our inner-nerds, and isn't it about time they were given a chance to shine. Although if you are a little embarrassed, maybe the Storm Trooper, with it's total face covering zip-up hood would be the most appropriate.

Endings.

It's been one of those days. You know. Those ones. They're neither amazing nor terrible. My evening was good fun, watching movies with some friends, but there was a recurring theme of waiting things out to see if they got any better, only for them not to. First I was watching a terribly sad doco on the Darrell Lea family. I think the family policy of 'whatever happens in the family, work comes first' summarises it all. The company is held in higher esteem than any family connections, including between brothers or father and son. It was incredibly disillusioning, and a powerful lesson about how destructive ambition can be. I kept watching because I didn't want to miss a potentially decent ending, and go away with the wrong impression. But there was no happy ending.

Then we watched He Died with a Felafel in His Hand, which was also a little disappointing at the end. We watched it out, wondering where it was going, and hoping for a happy ending. But once again there wasn't, and we were just confused about what had happened, and why we'd kept watching.

I'm sure there's some kind of anecdotal lesson in this, but I'll have to think about it to see what it is. It was a fun evening anyway, we also watched Flushed Away which I enjoy a lot, and just hanging out with friends is always fantastic, no matter what you're doing.

I promise not to comandeer a chieftain tank in order to invade Paris.

Points to whoever can identify my title reference. Without Google.

This time in five weeks, I shall be very close to arriving in Singapore, quite possibly looking forward to getting away from a slightly tipsy, over-chatty Welshman. Hang on. that was last time... Mum suggested yesterday that I start to work out which clothes I should take. Perhaps a little early to actually start stacking them up (they'll just go back into the wardrobe as quickly as they come out), but it's certainly time to start wondering which clothes I should replace (jeans), which need cleaning (downie) and which are just perfect as they are (ummm?). Then in a couple of weeks I'll start actually doing something about it.

Still hasn't sunk in that I'm going. Haven't really done much preparation except get my tickets and travel insurance, and practise jumping up and down excitedly in my head.

Anyway, in outdated preparation for living in the United Kingdom, I watched through the 12 episodes of Fawlty Towers over the weekend. I'd forgotten quite a few bits, but one of the best is here at 1:12.

If you're reading this on facebook, check it out in infinitely cooler form at my blog.

Checkerboard Cake

On mentioning how much I wanted to have a go at making this cake, I was told to put photos of it up. So here they are :) And no, I do not ever want to be a food photographer, so don't expect beautiful shots of glossy food on pristine plates. :P

So it's not going to turn out like this, but it's looking quite cool. Was looking through my Green and Black's Chocolate Recipes book, and found this, read the instructions and realised that it isn't nearly as complicated as it looked.

Part one was making two batches of mixture - chocolate and vanilla, but I didn't take a photo of them. Then I had to pipe the mixture into pans and bake them. You must note that this was my first ever go at piping, so excuse the wobbliness :D

Then, when they had cooled, I spread apricot jam (homemade, yummm!) on each layer, and stuck them together.

Then came the icing, which also is not amazing, but should taste good. Was supposed to be ganache, which is always so much better, but I didn't have any chocolate to melt for it.

So now I must just wait for the icing to set so I can cut it, and see if it looks at all checkerboardish.

A short time later:

I'm pretty excited that this worked! Yes it's a bit wonky, but it still looks great I reckon.

It tastes pretty good too, although I think there is perhaps a little too much butter. I already reduced it a little, but I might do so again if I use this recipe again.

But there you go. It wasn't very complicated, although it took a while. And it was pretty satisfying to cut it and find that it worked.

Bliss

I suspect "study heaven" is a contradiction in terms, but if it were possible, this would be it. Perhaps minus the weird smell, which I can't post a photo of.

The only problem is that I have to fight the urge to pull out the gardening gloves and get weeding. That's for AFTER exams.

If you're reading this on facebook, see the original at my blog, which is so much cooler than facebook notes. For the first on my overseas adventures next year.

Procrastination stage 2

I was procrastinating so much I never documented stage 1 of this fabulous journey that ends in blissful holidays, but all you really need to know is that it involved much cleaning.

By this stage I am getting a little beyond house cleaning and cake baking, and have moved onto greener pastures. Literally.



So I took some pretty photos of the garden. Thought it was going to evaporate yesterday, so was much steam rising up, but didn't get photos of that. Got some of rain drops and other pretty things, and was happy.


But today things took a turn for the worse. I was forced to spend several hours creating pointless tableaux from lego and cars. Painful I know. Out in the sunshine and fresh air, all for this:






And thus I move closer to procrastination stage 3. Who knows what that will involve.

For all the photos, click here.

Right now, I'm eating scrambled eggs, with a comb, from a shoe.

Due to a number of complaints about the length of blogs on this website, management will allocate only a small space for future entries and will not tolerate the propagation of superfluous information.

Title: University of East Anglia
Departure: 28 December, 10:30am, Hobart Airport
University orientation: 6 January
University start: 11 January
Easter break: 20 March - 18 April
Assessment: 4 May - 11 June
Holidays: 12 June - 26 September
Autumn Semester: 27-17 December
Return: 27 December

First choice subjects
Spring Semester: Latin for Historians, Landscape II, British Intelligence in the 20th Century - Myth and Reality.
Autumn Semester: Translation Theory and Practice, Modern Germany 1866-1945, Medieval English

Holiday and Tourist ideas
Volunteer at Iona (application submitted)
Volunteer at Greenbelt
Visit Stu and Elly in Bulgaria
Visit friends in Austria
Go to Eurovision in Norway
Go to random places with super cheap flights
Anything else anyone suggests.

He's up there... mewing in the nerve centre of his evil empire.

Sometimes an organisation just blows me over with its independence. Over the past couple of days, I have developed a strong respect for the independence of a certain administrative cell group. This independence is of a special variety. The OED gives several definitions of 'independence', but this administrative cell group is so independent it does not even adhere to the common rules of the English language. In fact, they are so independent, the independence is passed on to each member of the staff, and each is willing and able to work quite independently from each other. Another thing I admire is their determination to keep this independence. Not for them is the curse of conformity of opinion or knowledge. Each holds their own knowledge, and it is their's alone, not for anyone else to know. Sometimes this fierce determination to maintain independence is taken to the point of hiding even the existence of the knowledge. The members of this administrative cell group work hard and receive little reward for their toil and trouble. They are the ultimate protectors of independence. So next time you're on the 5th floor of the humanities building, lift your hat and give a cheer. They (well, one member) may hear, and they certainly won't pass it on.

Turn left at the dead badger

Look. It's a rat. a great big rat. In the stove. It had a friend. I don't know where its friend went, but I hope it wasn't off to have ratty babies. Come to think of it, I don't know where this one went either. I wish them all the best, and hope they have a wonderful life together, far from here.

The Elephant and the Balloon

So I did that Facebook list thing - 15 books that have been the most influential in my life, without thinking too hard. It took far longer than it perhaps should have, as I went blank, then later remembered a whole heap of others. Here's my original list:

1. Cold Comfort Farm (Stella Gibbons)
2. Lord of the Rings (Tolkein)
3. Bible (God)
4. Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
5. Things Fall Apart (Chinua Achebe)
6. The Book Thief (Marcus Zusak)
7. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
8. Northanger Abbey (Jane Austen)
9. Time Traveller's Wife (Audrey Niffenegger)
10. Famous Five (Enid Blyton)
11. Almost any Terry Pratchett
12. Dracula (Bram Stoker)
13. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
14. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
15. The Horse and his Boy (CS Lewis)

Followed by the extras I would have added if I could have had a few more spots (or even replaced some of the above with):

The Dark is Rising Sequence (Susan Cooper)
Two Caravans (Marina Lewyecka)
Dune (Frank Herbert)
Empyrion (Stephen Lawhead)
Obernewtyn (Isabelle Carmody)
Cloudstreet (Tim Winton)
In the Hall of the Dragon King (Stephen Lawhead)
Tom's Midnight Garden (Philippa Pearce)
The Elijah Bailey books (Isaac Asimov)
1984 (George Orwell)
Taming of the Shrew (Shakespeare)

What were my criteria? To tell the truth, there weren't really any specifics. Some people looked at books they reread a lot, others at books they felt they had to read, and I just looked at books I always remember. A lot of these books have just one or two scenes that have stuck with me, such as the final scenes of Brave New World, or when Shasta and Bree are travelling along the cliff edge at night, with Aslan protecting them from falling, in The Horse and His Boy.

Some of the others I re-read regularly for the story, like The Secret Garden, Empyrion and Terry Pratchetts. Empyrion (especially the first) plays like a movie in my head as I read it, and even now I recall large chunks of narrative in movie form, although I haven't read them for a few years. Some I listed for the way they made me think about the world, 1984 being the slightly stereo-typical one of them, but also Things Fall Apart and The Book Thief, which gave me new perspectives to mull over.

And then others I listed because they are books of my childhood, read over and over, and yet still loved (and still read). Famous Five (yes I still re-read these occasionally) Dark is Rising Sequence and In the Hall of the Dragon King are some of them.

Of course not all fit into one of these categories, some are books I studied at school or uni (Cloudstreet, Things Fall Apart, Northanger Abbey). To some studying a book ruins it, but I find that I often like the book far more after, because of the intimate knowledge I have of it. I can appreciated the humour more knowing who the author aimed it at, I can see the lessons being taught. Of course it doesn't always work. There are some books I plan on never ever ever picking up again, but that's more related to the fact I didn't like the book in the first place, and couldn't care less about learning anything about it.

Lastly, I would like to thank my parents for raising me with books. To my Dad for reading me Lord of the Rings every night when I was seven, to Mum for taking me to the library, or collecting me after school when I'd taken out too many books to carry. For Sunday afternoon trips to Book City (the smell of which still transports me back 15 years). For letting me read anything, with nothing more than a warning that 'this book might be a bit complicated, but give it a go'. For all the times I've stood in our lounge room staring at the bookshelves, being advised by Mum or Dad on what to read next. For letting me (or perhaps even expecting me) just sit quietly in the corner with a book at dinner parties, afternoon teas, lunches, before church, in the car, on the plane, in front of the fire, on buses, while for parental meetings to finish, at restaurants or almost anywhere else.* For teaching me the necessity of being able to just sit quietly and amuse oneself, and how easy that is with a book. That is one invaluable lesson I will be passing on to my children.**




*please note that this may make me sound like a very anti-social child. I wasn't really. The partner lesson to being able to read anywhere, is learning to tell the difference between when you should and when you shouldn't. I think sometimes my teachers wished I was a little more anti-social sometimes, if my reports are anything to go by.

** I think I'll try to accompany that with a love of reading non-fiction and textbooks though. Haven't quite grasped those yet. Usually I find just sitting and staring at the clouds preferable. That's a problem.

Where it's all at.

I got exciting news yesterday. My first pref uni wants me to apply for exchange with them. I'm in the process of filling out forms with details about me, my course, my major/minor (umm, two majors?), my passports (although my aussie one is about to expire, so will have to update those details sometime) and my subject choices. I have to get utas faculty approval for the subjects I would like to credit towards my majors, which means getting hold of lots more information about the 'modules' than is in the module guides. Which means waiting until lecturers and people come off summer holidays and check their emails.

It's all very exciting! Currently I'm still looking into options for filling my summer break, but there's one place that's really caught my eye. It's a place called Iona, mainly in the Inner Hebrides, and they take volunteers to do various stuff. History nerds may recognise the name of the island, as it's where Columcille (Saint Columba) settled, and perhaps where the Book of Kells was partially created. My brother volunteered there ten years ago, and has (I think, it was via email) enthusiastically endorsed my interest in going there.

2 posts in 1 year? Amazing!

I'm trying to work out the best look for the blog. Does anyone else have trouble reading the white on grey, or is it just that I don't have my glasses on? I like the appearance, but perhaps not for practicality?

Also, can someone please tell me how to make my heading picture fliexible in size? I'm on a widescreen computer, so it looks all good to me, but I suspect it will just make smaller screens scroll sideways, rather than fitting itself.

Anyway, read my slightly more intersting post below now! :)

It's time.

There seem to be blogs popping up everywhere at the moment, and they reminded me of all the midnight inspiration I never wrote down. Just for the record, you'll note I've had this blog for many years, since 2004 in fact, when blogs were a relatively new thing. So I'm not ACTUALLY following a trend, I've merely been remotivated to share the minutae of my life with the wider world, while trying to look intelligent (or at least interesting/funny).

So, next year I'm hoping to head off to England on exchange. Yep, another exchange (check my 2005 posts for previous exchange adventures). I had a great time in Austria, but this is going to be so much better. For one, I won't be blogging as much. I blogged a RIDICULOUS amount back then! But if you look down the list at number of posts per month, you can tell when I changed host families....

But I will blog a little, to keep you all up to date on what I'm seeing and doing, as well as to record my memories for posterity. And so I should get into practice. From this day forth I shall blog about the trivial and the vital. But for those of you who are new to my writing style, here are a few tips:

1. turn off your logic control when you read. I generally write as my brain goes, and while the connections may make sense to me, I can't guarantee they will to you. Just go with the flow.
   
2. ask questions (while I'm away, well no, anytime, but while I'm away I reckon you'll actually have questions). Give me direction for my posts. Trust me. It's worth it. I've just reread some of my old posts, and boy am I a good waffler.
3. be prepared for the absurd to be juxtapositioned with the average. I make strange connections and say things in weird ways. Imagine it in my voice and it might make sense. I write blogs like I'm having a conversation.
   
4. Ummm. Nup, that's it.

So anyway, since everyone keeps asking, I'll explain the whole exchange thing.

England. Well, I shall be looking out for rastafarians and moustached flat capped men. But I'll also be visiting my brother, sister-in-law and niece. And gawking at all the medieval history in the place.

I am studying Arts Law, and doing a double arts major in history and german. Because of the way I've organised all my subjects, at this point in time I've got 2 history units and 2 german units left before my majors are complete. So next year I'm going to take a year off law, and go to the University of East Anglia (hopefully, provided they like my application) for a year. Currently I have been approved by utas to go on exchange, and now just have to wait for uea to approve utas to nominate me... or something. May be a while before I know. I've put in an application to get a loan that will go onto my hecs debt (pah, what's another 10 grand when I'm going to be a rich lawyer. ha.), and am preparing to enter battle with centrelink to convince them I deserve youth allowance.

There's some confusion involved in the whole process, largely because utas is occasionally administratively challenged, so I've been told about 4 different things about applying for scholarships. I think I shall contact the scholarships office directly.

I plan to fly out just after Christmas. Flights seem to go up about $800 on the 1st of Jan, so it'll be before then. I'll stay over there for a year, and come back after Christmas 2010. This is all hypothetical and dependant on many many things, but we'll see what happens.

I'm currently working out what to do in the summer holidays. They seem to be about 17 weeks, and I'd like to work/volunteer somewhere for some of that time. I'm looking around to see what's on offer, somewhere that provide bed and board would be great. So if you have any ideas, let me know. I like to be part of a community, rather than outside it like a tourist. It's so much more interesting to be on the inside, working behind the scenes, and I know I have skills I can use to help somewhere.

So there you have it. My plan. Who knows how it will turn out. Maybe I'll be rejected and will finish law next year. Maybe I'll end up at my 3rd preference of Leipzig. But stay tuned here, and you'll be the first to know. After me of course.

Oh by the way. Did anyone see my photo on ABC weather on Friday? That makes it three submitted, and three used. I really am an old lady stuck in a young person's body.

Terribly sorry about the slightly boring return to the blogoquad, but I'm now off to reflect on God's intentions when he decided to give flies loud wings in quiet bedrooms. And how to kill said flies with the least effort.

Waste not, want not.

Use every piece of God's armour to resist the enemy in the time of evil, so that after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth, and the body armour of God's rightousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that you will be fully prepared. In every battle you will need faith as your shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at you by Satan. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Ephesians 6: 13-17

It struck me during Mick the Missionary's sermon last night, that we have been given all these things to use. We haven't been given the faith-shield to look pretty in the pool room, nor the Spirit-sword to hang over the hearth. They have been gifted to us as practical tools to be used.

This doesn't mean we should trash the peace-shoes, instead we should wear them, cherish them, get new laces, get them resoled. God has an infinite supply of peace-shoes to replenish the worthy wearer. I've always imagined the salvation-helmet to be battered but gleaming. Polish it with pride, so you can bear it with pride. The more you use it, the more comfortable it will be to wear.

There's a scene in a book or movie, where exactly it is from eludes me, but essentially it's a man explaining that while his inherited sword has had the blade replaced several times, has a new handle, has been rejewelled, it is still the same sword as has been passed through down the family for generations, because it isn't the parts that make the sword, but the spirit that goes with it. This is how I think we should treat our Armour of God, don't be scared to use it too much, because that's what we've been given it for.

No one (even Luke Skywalker) is great with a sword (or saber) the first time they use it. But with practice they can eventually use it against the evilest of beings, and beat them back.

But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Galatians 5:22-23

I find the juxtapositioning of the Holy Spirit to as being both a sword and bringing the fruits fascinating. The sword is weapon of war, and yet the fruits belong in the realm of peace. If our lives are controlled by the Holy Spirit, we will be in possession of these fruits, and yet expected to wield their giver (and therefore the fruits ?) as weapons.

My only conclusion here is that we are not to be anything but loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and self-controlling when we wield the mighty Word. The sword is in itself not a violent object, it is he who wields it maliciously that makes it so.

What are your thoughts?



Read. Reflect. React.

Have you ever wondered...

...what you would do with all the time you waste, if you got it back?

"Waste?" you incredulate. "I don't WASTE time! I simply misappropriate and exploit an opportunity that arises in the intercourse of everyday life." Or something like that.

So waste. What is it? Time. What's that? How do the two fit together with a handy preposition and what does it mean?

According to the poster on the loo door at church, the average westerner spends three years of their life on the loo. Three years! Now, personally, I do not consider bowel evacuation a waste of time (pun only sort of intended).

What about sleeping? Wiki answers reliably tell me, complete with bad grammar, that the average (American) human spends 1/3 of their life sleeping. I like being awake, and therefore I must accept that some sleeping needs to be done, and unfortunately cannot all be done at once, as Amelie believed. A third is a lot though, but that's still only eight hours a night. And who hasn't slept for 10 or 12 hours? Perhaps those extra hours spent dozing, lazing, dreaming in bed could be considered a waste.

Of course, the obvious one is television. I've recently bought the Hustle dvds for series 1 and 2. In the holidays I watched my way through both seasons of Dark Angel. I've seen them before, but who cares, let's watch them again, just because... I've been watching Arrested Development, Red Dwarf and Torchwood as well. And that isn't to mention the things I watch on tv. And the movies. Now, that I think is an arguable waste of time.

What is or isn't a waste of time is not my point. That's for you to decide. But what would you do if you could get the 31 hours you spent watching Dark Angel back? Or the 75 hours watching House. Or the 13 hours watching all the Star Wars'. Or the 4 hours a day you spend on Facebook. Or the 5 hours a week you spend drooling over dvds, cds or games in jb.

I'm not going to stop watching movies, tv or reading books. But I know there are far better things I could do with my time, and I'll try to use my time better, with less procrastination, and more proactivation. It's not going to come back, appear magically as the 53rd calendar week, but we should work harder at not misappropriating future time. It's easy to think, "yeah yeah, I'll start tomorrow", but seriously, tomorrow never comes. The time it takes to watch House s. 1-5 is more than the hours worked by some kids in developing countries in a week*.

If you know I've updated my blog, you are probably trawling the internet, or have an rss feed that tells you everything that's going on in the world. Now I love to see all the news that comes in over the day, to see what's happening in the world, and I would love to be able to help where I see pain, but it's not going to happen if I just keep saying "tomorrow, I'll stop just repeating what I've already done and go and do something new." Have to make a move now, or else it will never happen. Now is always there, so it can never be too late to change now, but don't leave it till later, because that ain't gonna show.



*If you're an avid House watcher, don't be offended, I could have picked something else like Lost, but then this disclaimer would read "If you're an avid Lost watcher, don't be offended, I could have picked something else like House, but then this disclaimer would read....."

If you like some of the words created for this entry, please feel welcome to adopt them and circulate them in the wider community. There is no copyright on 'incredulate' or 'proactivation', and while I generally disagree with 'verbation' (the creation of verbs from nouns or adjectives), there is a time and a place, meaning, here and now.

Little time was wasted on this entry if it makes you think about how you spend your time. Do not force me to be a hippocrit by not doing so, thus making it a waste of time spent writing.

Read, Reflect, React.

Reflecting on Contemplation

Ok, so I haven't written for a while, but life's been busy flowing around me, so I haven't had much of a chance to collate the bundle of thoughts whooshing in my brain. I have however had time to read a lot of books, and one of them has been Contemplative Youth Ministry: Practising the Presence of Jesus by Mark Yaconelli. I heard him talking at Greenbelt and he's an inspiring guy. His dad was pretty famous for pioneering youthy stuff in America, and it is so reassuring to read that his son has exactly the same worries and problems as those of us who have merely risen through the ranks, without inherited knowledge. He describes how he nearly burnt out at the beginning, because of the expectation that he would be his father's son, and because he tried so hard to create successful programs, relationships, groups and to do it all himself.

This book however is about his experiences with using silence and contemplation as a tool of spiritual development at youth groups. "What?" I hear you say, "silence, contemplation with my rowdy bunch? They can't sit still for 5 seconds, let alone an hour!" And that's exactly what I've been thinking as I read it - sounds good in theory, perhaps great for the leaders, but with the youth? Really? You've read my previous post, you know how I crave silence to get God's peace, and should understand that I really appreciate any opportunity to sit with God and try to listen to what he's telling me. But do others? Especially people with endless energy, who can't sit still, who've grown up channel surfing, flicking through magazines, requiring excitement to keep them interested.

Hang on. That's me! I'm like that. I am a fidgeter, I have too much energy, I channel surf when I'm bored with the ads, I rarely read an entire article in a magazine, and I have trouble reading books that don't capture my attention through fast plots or interesting characters. But I also need quiet sometimes. Hmmm.

Every week at school we had to sit in silence for 50 minutes, to make up to-do lists, imagine what we would like for dinner, learn sign language and giggle behind our hands. At least, that's what I did at first. Slowly though, I got the hang of what the Quakers were about with their sitting in silence thing. That was when I started to enjoy the chance to reflect on God's work in my life, pray a bit, and listen. I usually got pretty distracted quite easily, but it planted the seeds of appreciation. My memories of those weekly gatherings are of forced silence, with a few muffled giggles or occasional snores, but generally I remember them as being silent.

And that is why, on reflection, I believe silence at a youth group could become accepted and an appreciated part of our journey with Jesus. I've been praying about what I've been reading, and looking for inspiration for how to use it. I would like to implement some form of contemplative reflection at our grade 11-12 group or the 7-10 Bible study, and will keep praying about it.

In the meantime, however, I think God's been sending me messages again. I read this article today, after Mum thought it might interest me, unaware that was the book I was reading. It gave me real hope - the book is written by an author, and I have an inherent distrust of the advice in books, something to do with the person seeming to be more professional, with far greater resources, larger numbers. But the article is by an Australian, on the ground, in a familiar environment, with the same hesitations as me. And it worked for him!

Just now, while watching The Bill, a character has just said "Silence can be so uncomfortable. But they say I'll get used to it after a while". Isn't that such a common attitude. I've heard it said that the quickest way to be fired from a job in ministry is to suggest 10 minutes of silence be held during a service, but why? Jesus spent a lot of time sitting, listening to God (some examples are Matt 26:36, Mark 1:35, Luke 5:16, but there are heaps of others). Why do we reject that particular aspect? In an alternate reality, could Christians be scared of sermons and shun them as an important aspect of worship?

Think about it, and consider why you might not encourage contemplation in your area of ministry. There are a lot of different ways to 'do' contemplation, and Yaconelli talks about quite a few, but there are a lot of others too. Look into it, don't be afraid to give those in your team a chance to listen and reflect, without time pressures or other distractions. And let me know how it goes. I'll be reporting back on our adventures.

I pray that God will bless your socks off if that's what you truly require, but will knit you a new pair when that's what is necessary.

Nourishment in flowing water

It's been a while, and for that I must apologise. I don't know what happened, but suddenly writing on my blog just didn't seem as interesting as it has previously. But I currently have the urge to write something about something, and I don't really know what... In the last week water has been a large part of my life, both a lack of and an over abundance. But it got me thinking about the significance of water to me as a Christian.

BayWest has been renamed Wellspring, meaning the place where the river starts to flow. In other words, it's where people will be raised up to follow God, before flowing out to nourish the community around. But do you think the spring could cause a flash flood? Is it possible to have too many Christians in the community? I don't think that's possible, but I do think there is always a risk of a spring flowing too fast, not allowing enough time in between welling up and spreading out - sending out the people ill-equipped to fight the every day demons of the secular world. Some might argue that anyone who follows Jesus is capable of nourishing the community with their knowledge, but another might say that new Christians only have enough vitamins to nourish themselves, and not others, that as they develop their faith, trust and knowledge, they gain the resources to share. Hmmm, I don't like this second theory, but I feel there may be some truth in it, although I also believe that any Christian, old or new, should be able to spread some nutrients to the community through which they flow, and should be able to rely on God to renew their resources, to keep giving.

People today focus on serving oneself first, and others later. The Christian community has responded by serving others first, and oneself second, a sentiment with which I agree wholeheartedly. But what about spiritual renewal? It is very hard to renew one's own spirit while giving out to others - it's like having a pipe through which the water flows, without stopping to benefit the middle point. We have been trained to believe that taking some time out is selfish, and unnecessary.

I recently experienced what could only be described as spiritual starvation. I was leading on a camp, and was struggling to show God through my actions, to a group of campers who were infuriatingly blasé about responding to kindness. Over the week I could feel myself becoming more exhausted, and grumpier, finding it harder to reach down for kindness and godliness to give. But my exhaustion wasn't just physical. I was pining for some time with God, and had to admit defeat and take time out. I had never required time out for such mental exhaustion before, and it was disturbing. Was God not feeding me? Had he abandoned me to rely only on my own meagre resources, without renewing them? No he hadn't, but what he was feeding me was going straight through the pipe, out the other end, to the campers. I had no chance to absorb what I was being given, before giving it out again, and it was killing me.

God will never ever put you, me, anyone in a situation with which they cannot cope, but sometimes he will require you to stop and listen to his plan for getting through. Pushing on, without stopping for directions, is like running through a minefield without looking at the map. It is dangerous, foolish and can cost you your life. Of course, God could make sure you follow the safe route through, but that's not what free choice is about - his gift to us is the requirement that we make our own decisions, and he can only place markers to show us his way. But we need to stop and look out for them. And THAT is what time out with God is about. It's not a selfish time away from giving God to other people, it's stopping at the service station to get petrol, directions and clean the windscreen of all the stuff you drive through, for a better view of the road, so you can get your passengers to the destination safer and faster.

I hope that makes sense to someone. I hope someone reads this. I'll be praying for everyone who reads this, that you will learn to stop at the service station, and not run the tank empty every time before stopping to refuel. I pray that you will learn to put a dam up within you, to retain some nourishment that flows through you to others, that you won't be forced to remove that dam simply to keep up with supply, but I also pray that you will not become a blocked pipe, from which nothing leaves, and into which nothing new enters.

I love bored science nerds...

Maybe if we'd done things like this at school, I would have done science... (who cares that it's in Spanish!)


I remember swimming in pools like this, but it was weather inflicted....



Don't try this at home...


Pretty.... And it's a peugeot... And yes it is Richard Hammond presenting... And don't forget that slow release mechanism of... what was it again...?


And now i'd better go and get ready to go to Synod...

Movies I've watched recently and would recommend.

Well would you look at that. It's almost exam time again. So MOVIE TIME!

Spiderman 3: Spiderman returns this time as a confused student, with issues in his personal life, as he discovers that the identity of his uncle's killer was wrong, and the real killer has now escaped. Spidey sees in his mind how it must have gone, a malicious murder. He starts to think about revenge, at the same time as a strange alien form falls to earth, that enhances the negative emotions already felt by it's carrier.

There are new villains in this movie, with the Sandman and Venom, and the Harry the New Goblin returns to get vengence for the death of his father.

There are very strong overtones of the pain jealousy, revengeful thoughts and disunity can bring, and even stronger ones of the healing effect of forgiveness. At times they can be a little cloying, but overall it is an entertaining movie. In places, I found the music to be too obvious and manipulative. I don't appreciate movies where I can sense myself being manipulated to think a certain way - I'd much prefer it were subtley done.

While this is not a perfect film, I went in expecting it to be be far worse than the others, and I cannot understand where this opinion came from. The plot developed, and the film did not drag. The fights were entertaining, and the use of computer graphics, while at times obvious, did not detract. I loved the scenes with an Emo Spiderman strutting his stuff, and thought it a worthy member of the trilogy.



Garden State: Andrew Largeman returns home for a family funeral, and decides not to take his emotion surpressant drugs with him, making him drug free for the first time in 15 years. His visit is a rediscovery of life, as he reconnects with friends and family.

This movie is a bit of an Orson Wells attempt by Zach Braff, but it's one of my favourites! He directed, wrote and starred in this quiet comedy, which thankfully does not have (too much of) the usual American in-your-face humour. It is for the little things that I enjoy it, for Natalie Portman's compulsive liar, for the furniture-less house, the petrol nozzle. It is a sad story, but also uplifting. While predictable, there are still unexpected turns on the road to the inevitable outcome, and as with all feel-good films, the interest comes in how they get to the end, rather than the end itself.

It's obvious that this movie was made by a young person, and it has the good feeling of being a first, a bit experimental. The jokes are immature at times, but that's ok, they're funny.

Watch this film, expect some swearing and some drug use, but also expect an intriguing story of a person searching for the ability to feel emotions, and the journey (literal and metaphorical) he takes to get there. It's good, and for some reason I put it in the same kind of category as Saving Grace and Little Miss Sunshine (maybe it's the drug thing...??) I loved it the first time I saw it at the movies, and the second time in Austria, the third time, on dvd, I got more out of it, and the fourth time this week I just laughed.



Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End: I was pretty pumped about this one, and I wasn't disappointed! Captain Jack Sparrow is missing and everyone wants him back for Davy Jones' locker, for their own reasons. Off they set on a crusade to rescue him, save the world and stop the evil people all in 3 hours.

The plot is a bit confusing - who wants to save whom for what reason isn't always clear, but since when has that been a problem in adventure movies? All the usual characters are there, and as a continuation from number 2, it is far more satisfying to watch than the 2nd. I found it a little sad, but after the credits comes some closure (WAIT TILL AFTER THE CREDITS!)...

There are some running jokes continued, and the usual frivolities. It has some fantastic computer graphics, enhancing the fun fight scenes. There is violence, and some scary scenes, so take someone to hide behind if you're that way inclined (otherwise take someone who needs to hide... I can suggest a few...), but it is immensably enjoyable. There is room for another, which would make me happy, but who knows - the rumours are unclear about that.

If you enjoyed the first Pirates movie, go see this one! At almost 3 hours long, it has the potential to drag and be boring, but I barely noticed the time going by, so don't worry about that. Go in to have fun, and you'll be fine!




Little Miss Sunshine: Olive wants to be a beauty queen. She gets into the Little Miss Sunshine competition, in California, but they must drive from somewhere much further away (it's another American state I know that much....). The family has a few problems, a motivational speaker who fails, a grandfather who was kicked out of the nursing home for starting a cocaine habit, a Nietzsche following brother who's taken a vow of silence, a suicidal scholar uncle, a mother trying to hold them all together, and Olive, the completely normal, average 7 year old girl. They all pile into a kombi for a road trip!

This movie is hilarious for the twists put into a basic road trip story - I wouldn't usually expect some body smuggling, or a horn that jsut won't stop. It has hope, without being horribly corny, and the end is satisfying without being sickly sweet.

Watch this when you want a great laugh, watch it with friends and chocolate. It's a little odd, not your usual road-trip film, and some have found it a little slow or haven't understood it at all. But it's worth watching, especially if you like Garden State or Saving Grace.

Do you think there's a special fairy...

...who comes and gives you 10 extra zips and makes them extra loud when you're in the library?

The True Story of Easter 2007

Once upon a time, there was a girl called Imo.


Once day, Imo woke up at 4am, to her cat sitting on her head. She was a little grumpy, but then realised that it was Easter Sunday, and she'd have to get up in an hour anyway. She tried to go back to sleep, but it didn't work and finally at 4:59 she got out of bed, to the irritation of the cat, who was wondering where her plaything was going.

Imo showered, dressed and breakfasted, then headed outside to await her lift. While she waited, the sky started to light up in spectacular colours. Imo took some worse than average photos of the city in the almost no light


Eventually, just as Imo worked out how to get the minimal light to be used optimally, Ruth turned up to collect her. It was now 5:50am, and really far too early to be conscious, but Imo had no real problem, having been awake for almost 2 hours now. She responded to Ruth and Jacks' 'Good morning' with perhaps a little too much energy for the time.

They took off on a trip up Huon Road and met with a few other cars at the Fern Tree Tavern, before setting off further up Hobart's little hill, that is affectionately called the Mountain, or Mt Wellington, when it's in trouble.

As they drove up and up, they saw the sky over the city starting to light up, and the road up ahead started to glow with that pre-sunrise light.

Suddenly, Jack twisted and went 'eek', and it was revealed that his hot water bottle had bitten him.

It was a race against the clock, pretty sky and sunrise, and they were in danger of losing.

They reached the top, and it was as light as day. Everyone piled out of their cars, and we headed off for the lookout platforms. Jack was mourning the destruction of his hottie, and moaned about the burnt patch on his tummy. He got very little sympathy.

It was still very early. About 6:20am.


Everyone looked out over the city, and ohhed and ahhed about the absolutely PERFECT day and sunrise. It was so beautiful, and they praised God for how perfect it was. It wasn't cold or windy on the top of the mountain, which is a rare occurance, and there was a Dawn Service happening in the lookout house. That ended, and people came out and lots of 'Good mornings' and 'Happy Easter's were said.


Everyone could see very far, and they eagerly anticipated the sunrise. While it wasn't too cold, and all were dressed warmly, everyone's fingers started to go numb, and the warmth of the sun was anticipated.

Some of the party went to the other platform to see the sunrise from there.

The sun started to come up. First it was a glow.

Then a shimmer.
Then a sparkle.
Followed by the full force of the sun as it came out to play.
Everyone rejoiced in the light, as it hit the mountain.

Suddenly, in the sunlight, it became obvious who all the people there were. (There were a few couples...)

Ruth and Jack
Liz and Phil
Pat and Mez
Mark (trying to look seriously out at the world, with Pat)
And Phil, Heather and Katherine.
Caleb and Matt were also there, but being camera shy people that they are, this is the only photo with them in it. (And what a mighty hat Caleb is displaying!)
And everyone who was there....What a silhouette... Lucky we can see the landscape around Ruth really.... :-P
There's those cloudstills.... (clouds that look like waterfalls.....)
Oh, artistic shot of what happens when Kath runs away from me taking her photo.

And those final shots of picturesque Hobart at dawn.....

What an amazing, perfect start to a wonderful Easter.

And now the sun is starting to set again. There's something extremely satisfying about seeing a whole day's sunlight, from the rise to the set. But I think it's something that shouldn't be done too often, to keep it a novelty... :-D

Merry Easter everyone!

Two years to the event

This day two years ago I was in Austria, trying to solve a dilema. I was on Easter Break from school, and my school friends were going out in the evening of Good Friday to celebrate the break, and I couldn't decide if I should or not.

I really wanted to - I'd only been in Austria for a month or so, and wanted to see Altstadt at night, and go out and have fun with my new friends, but it was Good Friday, and it just felt wrong to go and have so much fun on the anniversary of the death of the most important person in my life.

I didn't go, and spent the day in silent suffering - from indecision and PMS that brought on homesickness. I guess that was one way of looking at Good Friday, but I've been thinking about it today, and I think that if I was given the chance again, I would go.

Jesus died. That's sad. But he rose again. That's happy. If he hadn't died, he wouldn't have risen again. So that makes his death a happy thing.

Good Friday is for reflecting on his death, and what it brought (hoorayness for us), and I think it's very understandable to want to stay at home and not do anything fun at all, but if you are just wasting that time, wishing you'd done something else, then it's not the best use of the time. I suspect that had I gone, I would have spent the rest of the day in much more worthwhile reflection.

So if you're going to spend time at this time of the year in reflection, make sure you make it worthwhile, and don't umm and ahh about whether you should or whether you've got time or whatever, just do it.

Anyway, that's a bit of a ramble, just a warm up to my real post really. Maybe. Probably. Prossibly. Possibly.

What's been happening lately? Not all that much really. I'm back at uni, studying ArtsLaw, with German and Medieval History for my Arts subjects. I'm loving them. For Law I'm studying Contracts and Torts (if only it was that delicious). They're kinda interesting, very applicable to everyday life, which is a nice difference from my arts subjects.

I'm currently avoiding doing my contracts summaries, which involve lots of highlighting and A3 paper. I'm so easily distracted today. Georgie (my cat) has been a great distracter all day... Later I'll go to Tenebrae, a service which celebrates the actual crucifixion of Christ, with lots of drama and candles and drums.

I've booked my flights to England, hoorah! I'll be there for Greenbelt too, which I'm pretty pumped about! I keep talking to Emma (future sister in law) on msn, which is great. She's very excited about us being there for Greenbelt too. Then I'll be off to Austria for a few days, which will be fantabulastic I reckon, looking for nice cheap flights there at the mo...

Well I'm hungry right now, need to go find some food.

Watched Bruce Almighty last night. I've seen it before, but I really like it. It's not perfect, but has some cool points to think about. Such as, what would happen if God gave us everything we 'want' ("who really knows what they want?")...